Can people be racist against themselves? Well, I just proved this sad fact the other day while staring, horrified, at a recent personal snapshot. "My god," I thought, "I look way too Asian." I mean, my eyes were all scrunched up in a slanty-eyed smile, like two symmetrical accent marks, and my teeth looked like long Chinese cartoon dentines. In short, I found the photo mortifying. But even worse was my realization that followed a split second later--the icy-hot, shameful feeling that I, in fact, shunned myself simply for being me.
Yes, I live in the great U.S. of A., where screwed-up ethnic identity is confused with the American spirit of multiculturalism and equality. It's exhausting having to fight the Caucasian beauty ideals that suffuse our culture and subversively convince me of what's pretty and what's not. Sometimes I mentally fail. But when that happens, I'm quick to reprogram, reboot, rethink.
A few weeks ago, I heard the author Gene Yang speak at San Diego State University. This brilliant artist/writer was the genius behind American Born Chinese, a funny, daring, and--for me--emotionally-inspiring graphic novel. Read it. It'll cure what ails you. Promise.
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