Photographic

Can people be racist against themselves? Well, I just proved this sad fact the other day while staring, horrified, at a recent personal snapshot. "My god," I thought, "I look way too Asian." I mean, my eyes were all scrunched up in a slanty-eyed smile, like two symmetrical accent marks, and my teeth looked like long Chinese cartoon dentines. In short, I found the photo mortifying. But even worse was my realization that followed a split second later--the icy-hot, shameful feeling that I, in fact, shunned myself simply for being me.

Yes, I live in the great U.S. of A., where screwed-up ethnic identity is confused with the American spirit of multiculturalism and equality. It's exhausting having to fight the Caucasian beauty ideals that suffuse our culture and subversively convince me of what's pretty and what's not. Sometimes I mentally fail. But when that happens, I'm quick to reprogram, reboot, rethink.

A few weeks ago, I heard the author Gene Yang speak at San Diego State University. This brilliant artist/writer was the genius behind American Born Chinese, a funny, daring, and--for me--emotionally-inspiring graphic novel. Read it. It'll cure what ails you. Promise.

Ugly Pageantry

As the Carrie Prejean fairytale-gone-awry continues, I've grown more and more agitated by the swarm of inconsistencies surrounding this mess. On one hand, I can't really blame the girl for capitalizing on her fifteen minutes of fame. I mean, in a capitalist society, smart people capitalize. Even if I despise her argument for marriage being a heterosexuals-only club, she's got a right to an opinion. But what I can't stand is how this beauty queen pretends that her latest role as spokesperson for the National Organization for Marriage has been her life's goal. Let's be honest--it's been a twist of fate and nothing more, thanks to Perez Hilton.

Another thing I can't stand? The two-faced Miss California USA organization. These people invested in Carrie's assets by purchasing her implants a few weeks before the Miss USA Pageant competition, presumably because a little more va-va-va-voom could help secure that sparkly crown. But now this organization is debating whether Carrie violated her Miss California contract, first by posing semi-nude as a teen model, and second by making personal appearances on behalf of the National Organization for Marriage without express permission from the California USA pageant committee.

I have no qualms with the latter violation--that's Carrie's own fault--but the former violation gets me riled up. For one thing, I don't think you can give a girl breast implants--a surgery that perpetuates a culture of highly sexualized, highly objectified female beauty--and then condemn her for having capitalized on her own sexuality years earlier. Can the Miss California USA organization really claim the moral high ground here? I don't think so.